I was four years old when my sister was diagnosed with a terminal illness. I no longer had the privilege of being protected from the real world. After four short years of being the little sister, the roles began to reverse. I was the big sister now, subconsciously swearing to defend and take care of my sister Blair for the rest of her life. At just four years old, I wondered how long that life would be.
On the fourth day of the fourth month in 2017, that question, which haunted my family for years, was answered. As Blair took her last breaths, part of me reverted back to the little sister I had been almost a decade earlier. Since her passing, I'm not expected to be the "protector" anymore. I'd like to think Blair has taken back this role, as she watches over me. I even think of her when I need advice, imagining the kind of big sister she would have been in another life.
Today is one of those days that I need my big sister.
It's been four years since that April day that changed my life - the day that my family of four became a family of three. We will always be a family of four, though, because Blair was too unique, too inspirational, too loud to be forgotten. She's definitely being loud today. As I hope I've shown in this blog, everything has seemingly and strangely aligned today. And it's Easter… the work of an angel. A loud angel.
Our loud angel.